Haters don't really hate you..

In fact, they hate themselves because you're a reflection of what they wish to be. Great quote.

Its not that people feel the need to pass regular comment and take the piss out of me for being healthy; that bit I just pity them for.  The bit that really gets me is that they don't consider, for one second, how they would take it if I turned the tables on them.

Can you imagine, whilst someone was chowing down on their highly anticipated pie and chips for lunch, I sit there and tell them how gross it looks and express my inability to even consider eating it as I want to enjoy my food or when they unveil their latest lardy post lunch time conquest; I feel the need to pass uninvited, judgemental comments.. I would be in so much trouble.  Its strange how they interpret healthy eating as boring and disgusting, yet what actually happens is that you get extra enjoyment from it as you have the added mental boost in the fact that you are feeding your body properly and aiding its peak function. And, even better, when you do treat yourself to something naughty; its tastes exquisite.  Its totally transformed my palate.

The comments I get pointed in my direction are generally during conversations that I'm not even a part of.  I pretty much keep my eating habits and opinions to myself, unless someone else brings it up and asks me about it. At that point, I am going to give my brutally honest opinion because they have asked me for it, but I would never involuntarily say anything as that's just disrespectful and serves no purpose.  Its ridiculous that people misinterpret their inability to be a better person in many ways and translate that as bitterness towards someone who is going out of their way to be the best version of themselves possible.

Perhaps if, as a society, it was deemed as far less socially acceptable to eat unhealthy food and live a generally unhealthy lifestyle; there would be far less strain on the NHS service from avoidable illnesses.

In other news, I've managed to screw up my neck! I decided I wasn't happy with a single body weight pull up anymore, I wanted MORE! My neck wasn't quite so keen. Luckily, I already had a back appointment booked in with David, so here I am. Slightly delayed so sat waiting to go in, he really must despair of me!

Still feeling good on the different macro balance. I don't purposefully aim to do the 50:30:20 split, it just seems to be how I naturally eat and I'm happy with that.

In even more exciting news.... I can see an AB!! One, beautiful little abdominal muscle and it isn't covered in fat and has its very own definition! Its at the very top and I will get a pic asap. I officially have a one pack, wooo!! Progress

The unheard of occured

We took a day off the gym this morning!!  we are both rally struggling, we cycled in on Monday, Tuesday was wieghts and Wednesday Tom decided to proclaim that we should do abs.  Well, I have quite a few spectacular abs moves up my sleeve so we executed these, I would like to say with style, but that would be a massive lie!!

Yesterday neither of us could even sit up properly to get out of bed, so we opted to do legs; unfortunately Tom's knee was playing up so we switche to a stretching session, which I love anyway. We finished off with some handstand practice, oh how I laughed!!

I think as a girl you take for granted that you know how to carry out a handstand, even if you arent capable of doing one.  Tom had a great time trying to get into his handstand, and to make matters worse, I couldn't help him back to earth safely as i was laughing so much.  He wasnt keeping his arms straight so kind of plopped his bum onto the wall and then trid topush himself up from there.  Ambitious to say the least and also incredibly amusing to us both, even if i wasnt doing my job and keeping him safe!  We got there in the end though.

My back was pinching a little last night and Tom's knees where still bothering him, so we opted for a rest day and took Sammy to the park in the rain instead.

Switching my diet around a little bit has made me feel a whole lot better.  I have basically stopped aiming for the macros I had set myself and just concentrated on  eating what I want as long as it falls within my calorie limit and it clean food.  I am making sure I am getting plenty of wholegrain fiber and vegetables and I have cut out dairy, for now anyway.  I think i am just more suited to paying attention to what my body wants and doing it that way.  It is what I have had the most success with anyway.  An example from yesteday is I was 52% carbs, 29% fat and 19% protein and I felt great and for the first time in quite a while I am back at 140lbs so I am just going to go with that qnd stop obsessing so much.

Some super tasty spelt roman loaf. Homemade of course, I cant get enough of it and its so simple to make, if not a little messy!

Yummy tea, with a couple of exciting additions.  Venison left over from the weekend and the Kohlrabi that I bought from Unicorn the other day. This is one of my new favourites, so sweet and crisp! 

Much to my musement, I managed to shell a coconut and leave the inside entact.  So behold, a naked coconut

Spelt pasta with turkey burgers and the ever favourite peas!

In other good news, I feel like the rescue remedy is really helping me keep a good firm grip on my sanity!!  

Meet the faaamily

This weekend was all about Toms family and mine meeting up properly before the wedding. The kids from each side wanted to meet each other and my dad hasn't met everybody either. The weather was absolutely glorious which meant out bbq plans were perfect.

Tom and I were out riding super early on sat morning so that we could get everything done, and it was just fantastic. The weather was heavenly and everywhere was so peaceful. It's days like that that make all the cold and miserable days involved in owning horses worthwhile.

The meet up went incredibly well and everyone got on brilliantly. I left them all to it about 10.30 as I made the fatal mistake of drinking before 3 and that never goes well for me! I get a hangover about 8 in the evening and that's me done then. Tom came to bed about 2 this morning and boy was he rough today!! He woke up and was immediately sick and then came to help me do the horses and have a lesson so his family could get top see him ride. Needless to say, he was desperate to get to bed after lunch and spent the entire afternoon there! I was slightly more productive and spent the afternoon sleeping in the garden, which is looking spectacular now.

The girls happily munching after their morning workout

So, the diet has been pretty terrible this weekend but I'm not going to lose any sleep over it. Instead I intend to cycle it off tomorrow.

For a few reasons, the main of which I don't really wish to publicise; I am going top start concentrating on following an anti inflammatory diet. This is only beneficial in the long run and my current dirty shouldn't take to much tweaking anyway. The main thing is to increase the amount of leafy greens I consume and cut back on saturated fat, bye bye morning yogurt! I need top concentrate on getting my vegetables back into my diet properly again too! We do tend to get a little lacks in this area but now I have found unicorn I have a huge supply of local and organic food so there is no excuse really!

What dreams are made of!

There is a co op grocery shop in Manchester call Unicorn Grocery that I have heard mentioned by a few people, as they stock a lot of the sort of food I enjoy.. Food I see as normal but it isn't mainstream it would seem.  Sugar free foods, local fruit and veg, personal products that don't contain chemical crap etc etc.  I have always assumed it was too tricky to get to but decided to check the other day and it is a simple 10 min drive from the office... Well, how much do I wish I had been before!! The place is heavenly!!

You walk in to all the fresh veg, the labels tell you what they are and where they are sourced from; the majority being local which is brilliant. Then to the left is the fruit, lots of different types that you wouldn't see in most supermarkets, as is with the veg.  I just love the opportunity to try new things and introduce seasonal produce where possible.  They have all the misshaped products that aren't deemed fit for the shelf in mainstream, which also frustrates the life out of me.  The products I looked at were also all organic and, whilst I am rubbish at taking cost into account if it is something I really want, it didn't seem outrageously priced.

Once through the veg, you are presented with a fridge full of sugar free treats and raw chocolate goods.  This fridge is also home to containers of sprouted everything!! Rows of veggie burgers, tofu in all different shapes, sizes and flavours. So many more incredible things I can't remember.. And then, you are faced with the belly of the beast that is FULL of produce I love! Shelf after shelf of nut butters, sugar free jams, syrups of every variety, eco friendly house products, fruit, nuts, flours, alternative and gluten free EVERYTHING. They have a deli counter that serves so many amazing looking salads and fresh breads of all kinds!

Seriously, I would move house just to have this as my corner shop. I am undeniably in love with a shop, it has answered all my wishes!!  I will now be a regular, I was kind of blinded by stock yesterday so need to go back and do a wall at a time so I miss nothing!  One awesome find was broken cashews, they cost £3.79 for a kilo, where unbroken ones would be over £10.. What is wrong with people?! Who cares if they are damaged?! And they are absolutely perfect for me to make mountains of cheap cashew butter!! I'm officially a geek!!

If your in the Chorlton area, you have to visit this place!

That'll teach me

I boldly made a statement in the office in Friday; one that I knew I would regret the minute I said it. They were all merrily munching away on chocolate and I proclaimed that the reason they were always being sick and I wasn't was because they ate crap and I didn't.  Bold move considering everyone had been getting sick in the office recently, I must be riding the wave of arrogance I seemed to have developed after managing to fight through a few other office epidemics! Sat evening after having tea, my tummy started to complain a little and was quite grumbly and then it hit me about 2 in the morning. The virus that had been going around had got me, and it had got me good!

Its my tummy and head that are suffering, I ate a couple of rice cakes yesterday and then decided I just needed something substantial as it felt as if my digestive system had ground to a halt. I hasn't felt hungry all day which sets alarm bells of all over the place but I just felt I had to try. So I opted for something that most people probably avoid at the best of times but I just craved pasta and butter, so that's what I had. It helped quite a lot but not with the headache. When I move I feel like my head is splitting, if I stay still then it's not so bad.  I have just made myself a coffee as I do find that helps, so we shall see but pain killers aren't touching it. I have so much to do in the office too and Mondays are fairly busy as far add meetings go! I just couldn't face driving.

Onwards with recovery and let's get back to it, I should've expected something to take me out of training hard, I've had way to good a run!

Meal replacement

This is something I never expected I would contemplate, mainly because I absolutely love eating. So its not just a nourishment thing, its also an enjoyment thing.

There is one main reason I have been considering going down this route for a least once a day and its time.  Whilst I absolutely love thinking about, prepping and making healthy meals; its incredibly time consuming.  I'm not the type of person that can have the same thing, day after day so planning what to have takes time. Not long granted, but my time is in incredibly high demand.  It takes me time because I like to consider my macro balance through the day as well as calorie intake. 

Before Tom took his job in town, I could send him my macro balance for the day and what I wanted lunch to have in it and he would make something amazing from it. He simply doesn't have time now. 

The reason I have not gone down this route sooner is the fact that most main stream meal replacements seem to contain unnecessary rubbish.  By this, I mean artificial sweeteners, bulking agents and thickeners.  For me, the meal replacement had to be about getting optimum nutrition from a healthy source, fast. I wasn't even that bothered about the palatability of the product as it tasting good wasn't its purpose.

I finally found a product that I felt was suitable. It was on a Google + link from a group I follow.  Garden of Life, raw meal.  The one I have opted for isn't flavoured as I always found that powders I have tasted in the past that stress flavored have a really bizarre chemical aftertaste, it also contains only organic and none GMO (still an area I am undecided about) ingredients and works out at just under £2 a meal and under 300 calories. It does still contain things that I'm not convinced are entirely necessary, but it seems to be the last offensive I can find. The site is also really to find everything you want and doesn't make any effort to hide any of the ingredients lays like a lot of sites do.

It arrived on Wednesday and I was fully prepared for it to taste utterly vile, but I was pleasantly surprised. It doesn't smell brilliant but has a not unpleasant earthy taste. It first reminds me of peas and broccoli. It contains very little fat, so I need to keep an eye on getting that right.  I can use olive oil on salads and make the most of avocado and nuts and get my fat like that. Keep my snacking smart basically. I have used it as lunch for the last two days and it had been so convenient. I don't immediately feel full but if I am patient I do after about twenty mins.

So basically, watch this space!

Realisation

I have just spent half an hour writing a post that reminded me so much of the person I used to be, the person who lacked focus and rational thought and I don't like that. I was back and to with contradiction and seemed scared to acknowledge my true opinion as it wasn't one formed by intelligence, which is something I have worked hard on recently.  On the positive slant to that, I have recognised it and will address it.  

All my thoughts are disjointed at the minute due to time pressures. I just need to regroup and refocus on the important things in my life.  Everyone has hiccups, its the way you deal with them that shapes you and I feel proud when I acknowledge something like this as it proves progress of awareness if nothing more.

I have been indulging the #100daysofhappiness craze that is on Twitter and Instagram and its been great, there are so many amazing things in my life and around me that I do already appreciate, but this just makes me think about them more.  As a tongue in cheek side line to this, my friend and I are doing #100daysofbitterness.  This sounds quite anti what I am trying to achieve, but I think that it is naive to assume that there is never anything negative in your life and Jo and I see this as an amusing thing so if anything, it is pulling something positive out of parts of our lives that we aren't happy with and its acknowledging that its OK to have bad bits because the good bits look even better then!

We have found a meal replacement that we are happy with and it should be delivered tomorrow.  I shall go into more detail and why we opted for this in another post as I am running out of lunch break now.  Its beautiful out here by the water and I have found myself a little sun trap. I could merrily curl up and have a nap!! Hey ho, back to it!!

1. Two new arrivals on the farm. Things like this never fail to make you smile!