And breathe

It really is a constant battle when you are trying your best to better yourself, physically and mentally.  Not only am I in the process of sculpting my body, I am in the process of shaping my mind at the same time.  I feel that going to the gym regularly and being with Tom has changed me in a whole raft of positive ways, but I need to remember that I have so many years of conditioning to work against.

I find I am considerably more laid back than I used to be, people who know me and are reading this may not be convinced, but they don't know the me that I know.  Someone told me something tonight that had the potential to really, really wind me up, to the point of me giving in to my anger.  However, I made the conscious decision to have a word with myself.  This didn't stop the familiar anger build up in my chest, but what it did stop was the lash out reaction.  Yes I vented a little but definitely managed to catch it and after 20mins it has passed.  An achievement on a mental level this time.

The main thought process that I feel has helped me in this type of situation is that the person responsible for the trigger, is not even worthy of my time, let alone any strong emotion.  I know that they are lesser than me so I should be happy that I am in a position to judge in this way and that their lives must be eternally shallow. 1 nil to me!  Although I  am wasting my time writing about them ;-) work in progress

Now, I am actually exhausted from a number of things and I am driving the horse box over to Lincoln tomorrow for a weekend of competing, really looking forward to it and the weather is set to be steady too!

Pressure is on

Well, of the cooker variety at least. I suddenly had a brain wave for cooking the beans; use the pressure cooker.  I had some cannellini beans soaking from the other day, so they got to be Guinea pig.

Rather than boiling for ten mins and simmering for 45mins, I simply brought to the boil and skimmed the froth and then put the lid on, brought up to pressure and then cooked for 10mins. Tasted them and they appear to be the best consistency yet, granted I have never cooked these specific beans from scratch before, but I think they would still have tasted waterlogged. 

My back was in quite a mess as usual, maybe even a touch worse.  My pelvis was totally out and my area on the base of my scapula that is always painful was excruciating. Oh well, I like to get my moneys worth! I don't normally ride the evening after having it done, just so everything can settle, but as I am competing at the weekend I needed to give Lara a practice jump and now my joints are not happy! Will be fine in the morning

Amazing PT session

Had another PT session with Martin this morning and it was really good. I did an hour of low intensity cardio before his sessions, split it between the treadmill and the bike.  Not used the standard exercise bikes there before, hugely wide seats!!

As always, Martin really concentrates on form and body weight. Its all about core strength and keeping yourself supple.  It means that your body will eventually be leaner, stronger and more capable of dealing with what is thrown at it.  We firstly warmed up the abs with a bicycle move and concentrating on pushing the arch of my back down.  I really struggle with this, I'm so rubbish at engaging my core whilst doing other things, and that really is key to strength.

We then moved onto the smith machine and used it for squats.  Not just standard squats, they are designed to really stretch the entire body.  No weight in it, just the bar and you have to stand with your arms straight above your head and a wide, almost sumo stance to give the pelvis room to allow the stretch.  You keep your entire body in line and then to start, you push your bottom right out to allow your weight to go down into your heels.  Start the squat and as you lower, push your head out forwards so it is no longer under the smith machine. Go as low as you can and then repeat. Doesn't sound tough but by god, it really is!!

We then moved onto a free Olympic bar, again no weights and Martin did some assisted stretching of my forearms and shoulders, way too tricky to explain it so you'll have to take my word on it being pretty horrific! Then I had to do a similar squat action but with the bar resting on my delts with my thumbs tucked under the bar under my chin, as I squatted I had to raise my shoulders. Wow, major stretch and instability!

Then we moved onto the same move as the smiths machine but with a barbell weight to engage the core, and did it engage it!!

During all moves, especially on the free weights, I have to ensure that everything is level.  Tougher than it sounds!

Next was some core stuff to finish, he started me off lying on my back on a stepper block, the bones of my pelvis on the end of the step and then, with legs slightly apart and straight, heels up, lift. Well, at least that is what I was meant to do. Not a chance! I genuinely couldn't even budge them!  Martin was amazed at how dreadful my core actually is, he didn't realise until then, just how weak I actually am.  So, switched that move to lying directly on the floor and remember to really engage the core and flatten the back out.

I have got to really concentrate on my posture no matter what I am doing.  He commented on my winged scapula and said that we need to focus on that too as there are exercises to correct it, or at least help.  He also corrected how I was stood just talking to him so I am just going to have to nag away at myself until it becomes natural.

I now have 3 weeks until my next session to really blitz this.  I can't afford it every week unfortunately! I really enjoy his sessions because everything he says makes perfect sense and is what I had been aware of but never been able to fix. 

Right, off to get my back done.  My bunions have been playing me up and I landed on my neck whilst bouldering, which I'm sure I have mentioned already! 

Nothing too horrific to report

 Only gained 4lbs from the long weekend away.  I felt so rubbish from drinking and eating so much on Friday and Sat, that I didn't drink Sunday and tried to eat less than I had been.  We also went out on the bikes on Sunday and Monday, so that made me feel infinitely better.  Hit the gym this morning for an hour on the treadmill, felt pretty good but my flexors started aching towards the end.  I have brought my back appointment forward to tomorrow as my bunions have been giving me so much grief, along with my neck from falling off the bouldering wall. 

I had some pretty tasty meals over the weekend. I had a blue Stilton, apricot and apple salad, which was to die for, but I should imagine that its calories were along the same lines!

Look at that beauty.  You can just make out Reuben's roast lamb in the background too.  After all,of us stuffed this down our throats, we had to cycle back to the campsite; up a huge hill.  Not the easiest thing in the world that's for sure.

This is our feeble attempt at creating a roof that we could all sit under whilst it chucked it down.  We ended up just cramming into one tent whilst we endured a thunderstorm.  Story of all of my visits to the peak district recently.  

I am definitely still feeling the affects of being I'll though, still not 100% back on form.  Its amazing just how badly things like that effect you.  I start my new job in a couple of weeks, which should help the energy levels no end.  There is nothing more draining that not being happy in the office.  We have also ,added the decision to move in with my mum and dad whilst we pay for the wedding and then save up for a deposit so that we can look to getting onto the housing ladder.  We would ideally like to build our own place, so that is definitely something for us to look forward to.  It's one exciting thing after the other at the minute! 

Why did two penguins jump when they first met?

They were trying to break the ice!  That is the joke that accompanied my breakfast this morning. I am lying in a tent, feeling really quite hungover after our first soggy night camping.  It doesn't appear to be raining now but it is forecast for all day! My breakfast was a penguin wafer and some anadin. Breakfast of champs!

Had a great climbing session yesterday, I can massively feel the difference in my strength from working on my upper body with the intention of getting stronger for climbing.  I did manage to hurt myself falling off the bouldering wall though, smushed my arm all the way down the wall and also managed to wind myself and land badly on my neck.  Luckily I'm getting my back done on Wednesday, I brought it forward as my bunions have been really sore the last few days.

We got pics of us bouldering, can't really take photos whilst the other person is climbing as you need both hands to feed them rope and not drop them.  I'm mightily impressed with how ripped my shoulders look too!

In case you were wondering, penguin wafer is not a patch on penguin biscuits!

Rest days are overrated

I felt rubbish all day today, my body felt sluggish and I felt irritable and I honestly think it was from not going to the gym.  I am officially addicted to it it would seem, I think in future the rest day will just be a half hour gentle bike session or something like that. 

It is officially the weekend for us now, lots to do tomorrow before we go camping, including checking out some fancy road bikes for Tom as he feels that he is ready to move on from his now he is fitter and used to his ride. We are also going to try and fit in a climbing session in the morning before we pack and head off.  We haven't climbed for such a long time, we've either been skint or busy or I've been hurt.  I'm not sure how the shoulder will feel, but only one way to find out.  I'm excited to see if my upper body strengthening has made any difference at all. The best way to do that would be to boulder rathe than climb, but there is no way the shoulder will take that. 

I ordered some cheap little calipers on eBay the other day and they arrived today, pretty pleased with my measurements except for the back of my arm. This is where is let me down the very first time I had it done, unfortunately I can't remember where I put my measurements from last time to compare but tricep annihilation here I come, it really is quite gross.  The strangest thing is, I don't think I look fat there and it doesn't wobble, but clearly it is fat when you get hold of it.  I've always just thought I was quite chunky in the arm, oh how wrong I am.  On the plus side of that, it means I can work hard on them and get them a lot slimmer.  It's funny, when I started out on this quest, there were so many parts of my body that I just assumed were as they were and I just accepted that.  Like my legs and now my arms and its crazy how much all of me has changed and, underneath the fat I have been carrying for so long, I am actually really quite small!! If I just keep plugging away, I should end up as quite a neat little package! Something to aim for anyway! 

Abs were a thousand times less painful today, hamstrings aren't so happy.  It's the first time I can remember having DOMS in my hams and them be painful to touch. Normally, they are just sore when I move around.  It's all good though and this weekend should ease them off a bit when we go out on the bikes. I do need to add that I will be on the most rubbish of all the bikes, Reubs and Mandy have new ones and Toms is just better than mine! Covering off my excuses for a feeble performance already.  I am actually also really looking forward to a drink! I know, I really shouldn't and I wish I didn't enjoy it so much, but I do and I work so hard most of the time that its kind of like a little reward, it keeps me going and also, when I wake up with a hangover, it reminds me why I don't drink very often anymore.

Finally today the scales were back to where they were last week, it's taken me 4 days to shift 4lbs. Not too bad, granted, they shouldn't have been there to lose in the first place, but shit happens and now they are gone.

So, where does it hurt?

It may well be easier to point out where it doesn't hurt tbh.  Had my PT session with Martin this morning, in true Martin style, he made me work muscles I didn't know existed.  We were concentrating on core and glutes with some flexor stretching chucked in for good measure.  It was all body weight stuff and I had to concentrate on keeping my core engaged throughout all movements.. So, so difficult to do. 

He explained that for me to be able to hit the heavier weights to build up shape (flat bottom attack) I have got to spend time strengthening and stretching as my body just will not take it.  I have biased strengths which don't help either.  Was a brilliant workout as his always are, but sooo tough, not tough in a "wow, I'm going to be sick" way, it's in a coordination and concentration and control kinda way.

I took the afternoon off to go around Somerford Park Farm Ride with Amy and her new horse she is trailing, that has basically finished me off and Lara ripped her shoe off, fingers crossed she hasn't hurt herself in time for her weekend competing at the end of the month! 

I've just needed to cough, it's like torture!!! 

My latest little find in Lidl is octopus.  In the entire glory, de-beaked thankfully, but still an entire beast. I love octopus and eat it when I am abroad all the time and here when I see it, but I have never prepared it myself.  The instructions just say to shallow fry it, so that's what I did with the first one.  I decided then though that the tentacles over cooked whilst waiting for the body to cook, so I chopped the second one up and did the bits separately and in garlic.. Much better.  I have then concocted a potentially yummy salad with Quinoa and fruit....  

Enforced rest day tomorrow, i really wanted to go on the treadmill for an hour but I could feel a twinge in my knee this morning and if I go with an hour in mind and it hurts, I can't do anything else as I am so sore.  I have a hectic weekend this weekend anyway as we are climbing Friday and then going to meet Reubs and Mandy in the peak district for a camping and biking weekend.. I'm still not very happy about the rest day though, typically me!