It really is a constant battle when you are trying your best to better yourself, physically and mentally. Not only am I in the process of sculpting my body, I am in the process of shaping my mind at the same time. I feel that going to the gym regularly and being with Tom has changed me in a whole raft of positive ways, but I need to remember that I have so many years of conditioning to work against.
I find I am considerably more laid back than I used to be, people who know me and are reading this may not be convinced, but they don't know the me that I know. Someone told me something tonight that had the potential to really, really wind me up, to the point of me giving in to my anger. However, I made the conscious decision to have a word with myself. This didn't stop the familiar anger build up in my chest, but what it did stop was the lash out reaction. Yes I vented a little but definitely managed to catch it and after 20mins it has passed. An achievement on a mental level this time.
The main thought process that I feel has helped me in this type of situation is that the person responsible for the trigger, is not even worthy of my time, let alone any strong emotion. I know that they are lesser than me so I should be happy that I am in a position to judge in this way and that their lives must be eternally shallow. 1 nil to me! Although I am wasting my time writing about them ;-) work in progress
Now, I am actually exhausted from a number of things and I am driving the horse box over to Lincoln tomorrow for a weekend of competing, really looking forward to it and the weather is set to be steady too!
No comments:
Post a Comment